When Sir and I first started dating, one of the qualities that initially attracted me was that Sir challenged me to come out of my comfort zone sexually. For him, it wasn’t just about putting the P in the V, there was an emotional level that I hadn’t yet experienced with other men. He would grab my hair while I went down on him and force me to look into his eyes, he pushed me to do a strip tease for him complete with music and a sexy costume (I am not a good dancer!), and he encouraged me to share my fantasies with him.
One fantasy that I hadn’t begun to explore even in my own head was a threesome with another woman. I’d had an encounter with a girl in college that I enjoyed very much, but never pushed the idea further until I met Sir. He and I talked about a threesome, but I always thought it was just pillow talk until it actually happened! This was long before we were married, and long before we would consider our sex life to be kinky. And, like most threesomes, it was a one night thing, a little awkward, loads of fun, and it opened the door for me mentally to explore my bisexual side.
My past partners had never been comfortable with the idea of “sharing” me with another woman, and so I had repressed those thoughts and feelings. I thought my desires were too taboo and wrong, and so I never opened up to them. Being with someone who not only recognized my true needs but also pushed me to voice them and act upon them was enlightening. I felt free and I knew I had found my match very early on in our relationship.
Now that we’ve transitioned to a D/s dynamic and our communication and knowledge has improved, we’ve discussed all the different aspects of sharing our bed with other people, from more threesomes, to polyamory and swinging. The truth is that we feel we got it right from the very beginning. We could never imagine switching partners, we are way too connected to each other physically and emotionally after ten years together that we would not be able to fully enjoy another partner. Yes, it would be fun, but I imagine I would be thinking the grass is greener on the other side the whole time.
Recently, we dated a woman for a short period of time and the idea of polyamory was brought up. For a while, when things were new and exciting with her, we considered what it would be like to have a girlfriend, we imagined what it would be like to introduce her to our families, we fantasized about sexy vacations. Reality hit with the realization that we didn’t feel right limiting her to only dating us, and we knew that we really weren’t comfortable with her sleeping with other people either. It became a moot point in the end because the relationship fizzled out on its own, but it was a great learning experience and allowed us to discuss possibilities that we’d never even considered before. The truth is that polyamory is too complicated for our tastes, we are monogamous at heart and want someone we are with to be fully invested or just a casual fling.
Hopefully, there will be other women in our lives sooner than later. While Sir is definitely enough for me and I for him, we relish having another woman join us. For me, having sex with a woman after being with men most of my life is so different and exciting. Men project all of their sexual energy outwards, thrusting, head back, chest out, and then an ejaculation. Women bring you into them, clutching, pulling, and when they cum its like they fold around you and hold you there. The juxtaposition of laying between a hard man and a soft woman, feeling both polarizing touches on your body at the same time is hard to explain. It’s amazing to experience both and I wouldn’t want to deny myself the pleasure!