Neither of us are really clear on how we got here, how we went from a mostly happy vanilla marriage to a 24/7 D/s dynamic. We do know that a few things occurred one right after the other that made the transition seem right and natural. And we know that we are in a better place because of the changes we’ve made.
This past summer, I started reading a blog written by a married submissive which got me thinking (a lot!) about the benefits of a power exchange relationship and how it could help us. I wrote about what really intrigued me about the dynamic in my post The Why and why I thought D/s could work for us.
Sir says that, for him, it dawned on him that this might be something for us to try after we discussed getting on Tinder to find a woman who would want to play with us. Almost as if by agreeing to open that door again, I opened up all the doors and windows in our relationship, letting in a blast of fresh air allowing us to look at our marriage in a new light. But I think that there were other factors that led to this change as well.
Our sex life was beginning to get stale and routine. We had scheduled sex dates on Wednesday nights, which quickly became monotonous and we would get it done and get back to whatever we were doing before. After being married for seven years, this isn’t uncommon for a lot of people but I didn’t want it to be how we were. I took matters into my own hands and handcuffed myself to the bed naked with a blindfold around my eyes and ear buds in and waited for Sir to come home from work. I think I’d written him a note to “Cum find me!” and waited blind and deaf and soaking wet! He found me of course and did all sorts of lovely things to me like humping my face and putting a vibrator on my clit until I broke the handcuffs. We’d done stuff like this before so it wasn’t necessarily something new, but the timing was right and it became the springboard that lead us into a new level of sexual experimentation.
Since I had started the “sexy snowball”, I told Sir that it was his turn the next weekend to come up with some new and fun way for us to have sex. He took my bondage idea and really went with it. I didn’t know it at the time, but he’d started researching Shibari and Kinbaku techniques on the internet and my broken handcuffs were a catalyst that lead to a whole new world of rope bondage. The whole scene (I didn’t know that’s what it was called yet) was surreal to me. He told me to shower and put on stripper make-up and meet him in the living room where for the first time ever he gave me a practiced speech on safe words and general rope safety. He covered my eyes with a blind fold and spent the next two hours tying me to the coffee table, my hands stretched over my head, my knees parted, ankles secured and a rope with a “happy knot” fitting between my pussy lips. I didn’t know it at the time, but I went swiftly into Subspace, falling into the watery haze of pleasure before I succumbed to a powerful orgasm. He straddled my chest and finished on my face and tits. It was amazing and a literal out of body experience like none I’d ever felt before. I shivered as he untied me, a goofy grin on my face, and I was addicted from that moment on!
We listened to our first podcast on the long drive home from one of Sir’s work trips. The podcast we chose was on clicker training your partner, and it was interesting and arousing to say the least! The content was taboo, which got our blood flowing and our minds wandering to sexual possibilities we’d never before considered. I wanted to know what it would be like to be trained in that manner, so Sir went out and bought me a clicker that week and we began my blow job training! I knew how to give a good blow job, of course, but I’d never really been mindful of what exactly Sir wanted and liked. Its easy to please a man and bring him to climax, and I’d never taken the time to consider that I could push my skills even further and by doing so enjoy the process more myself. I didn’t hate it, but I also never loved giving head before. Now I relish the task! I have gotten in touch with my inner slut, I yearn for his cock in my mouth, I choke myself on it in order to bring it further into me. The sound of the clicker encourages me, gives me confidence in my ability, and arouses me to the point of dripping. We’ve since moved on to hand job training and beyond and still to this day, the sound of that clicker makes me feel appreciated and happy!
This all occurred within a month or so, and it wasn’t more than a month after that we drafted and signed our D/s contract cementing, for us, the seriousness of our commitment to the lifestyle and to each other once more.