Nearly Missing Love

There are a lot of people out there who could be missing out on finding a truly compatible partner because they limit themselves to a certain type. You often hear things like, “Oh, I wouldn’t date him. He’s not my type” or “She’s not my type, I don’t think it would work.” For some people, that might honestly be the truth, but they could also be missing out on something special. I say this because I almost did!

My husband was a regular at a restaurant I worked at in college. He’d come in after work and meet his friends for a beer, and I thought he was very cute. He was always in his work clothes, a black t-shirt and jeans, always a little dirty making his blue eyes stand out like sapphires from his grease smeared face. We were finally introduced, but it took a while for us to warm up to each other. I think it was a couple of pints, actually, that finally encouraged me to flirt with him a little and give him a hug. It was more that a few pints that prompted him to ask me out, against the advice of all of his friends, but thankfully he did anyway.

When he arrived to pick me up for our first date, I was thrown off by his looks. He’d dressed up for me, and put on a button down plaid shirt with his normal jeans and boots. I took one look at his carefully chosen albeit slightly awkward ensemble, judged him for it, and thought that this would be our first and final date. I saw what he was wearing and thought that we would have nothing in common. My thoughts were completely ungrounded and, frankly, rude. I didn’t know him at all, but I was ready to give up (after I let him spend his hard earned money on me, of course) without even trying. Luckily, compatibility doesn’t judge a book by it’s cover!

We had a great time, and it turned out we were very well matched. We spent hours talking about everything from our past relationships to our views on monogamy and jealousy to what we liked to do and what kind of music we liked. It turned out that the only thing we didn’t really have in common was music, and that is still true today. We have similar views on politics, religion, food, spending, travel, and hobbies. It’s not usually hard for us to make a decision together because we are very much on the same page. That night, sitting at a bar having drinks, I didn’t feel like I was with someone who wasn’t my type. I felt that I was with a kindred spirit, someone who got me, and I really liked him. I don’t believe we fell in love that night, but we both felt something. When we had our first kiss in the alley outside of the bar, it was the beginning of something special, something that I could have missed out on if I’d let my brain do the driving instead of my heart and my instincts.

I never really had a type per se, but I sure was quick to judge and almost give up on him because of what he was wearing. I know it’s ridiculous, and bitchy, and snotty, but I’ve learned a lot in that past ten or so years. Mainly, that love and friendship can come in all sorts of packages, and having a type is a limitation. My husband is so very handsome no matter what he’s wearing. He’s not perfect, and neither am I, but we sure do go together nicely!