Friends

As soon as we discovered the depth of our kinky sides, we immersed ourselves in the kink community. We began attending one monthly play party and the Rope Bite, and soon we started going to another play party and various munches. One year later, I’ve started my own girls-only munch, me has been asked to help teach the beginners at the Rope Bite, and we have a whole new group of people to call friends.

We have friends in D/s dynamics that vary from very casual bedroom only to Master/slave dynamics, and we have friends with dynamics similar to our own. It’s always fun to meet for dinner and discover that the other s type has similar rules to my own. I love seeing the spark of recognition when I ask permission for something from him, and they light up and nod enthusiastically, “Oh, I have that same rule!” It’s also interesting to hear different rules and protocols from our own. He has gotten some good ideas from other couples that he’s incorporated into our dynamic.

One thing I’ve learned about D/s from our friends is that each relationship is unique, created specifically for the individuals involved. There is no right or wrong way to define your dynamic as long as it is consensual. No two relationships will be exactly the same even though they are all based on the concept of power exchange. I’ve never had anyone tell me that we are doing things wrong or that we aren’t truly Dom and sub for any reason.

We’ve recently started having friends over for rope dates. When we first started learning about rope bondage, it was highly sexual to me and the connection that it fostered between us was very intimate and electric, and I wasn’t willing to share that with other people. It just seemed way too personal, but now that we have started playing in public more often, I have loosened up on those feelings. We have had friends come over for platonic rope play followed by pizza dinner a few times, and it has been energizing and fun. We’ve helped a friend experience her first suspension with her partner, which was a joy to witness. We also recently has friends over to do a double suspension, which was challenging for all involved. You can see in the photo above that we are back to back, but when they turned us face to face, it was such a fun moment. We laughed and hugged, and the camaraderie only added to all the feel-good chemicals pumping into our brains. I was also able to tie my first suspension harness, and with his help, suspend our friend and fellow rope bunny. She’s an excellent bottom and her feedback helped me make her suspension more successful. We have plans to invite all our ropey friends over for a big kinky party in the fall with outdoor suspensions, impact play, and lots of food and friendly fun.

Tonight, we have a different kind of rope date planned, one of the sexy variety. We have a lovely friend coming over to learn about rope and get tied for the first time. I don’t know exactly how tonight will go, but dinner at one of our favorite restaurants followed by some sexy rope play with a sweet, pretty lady sounds like a recipe for a great Friday night!

We have recently met some kink newbies who have dabbled in some BDSM activities in the bedroom but have yet to create a Fetlife account or attend any events. These friends are specifically curious about Dominance and submission and rope bondage. We want to grow our community and welcome curious newcomers in a way that is safe and consensual. As the leader of the Girl’s Club, I feel I am able to provide a safe space for new women. The Girls Club members will watch out for and guide anyone who wants it. Anyone interested in rope bondage has a safe teacher in him. He is methodical and slow with first timers, going over every detail from safety to communication to drop. He emphatically repeats that rope is dangerous edge play and it is to be taken seriously. As a couple, I think we can show what a healthy D/s relationship can look like, that the control is given, not taken, and that we really look just like a normal married couple from the outside.

We have an amazing group of friends that have truly enriched our lives, all different types of dynamics and backgrounds that inspire us. The amount of support and love we feel from these people is enormous. We check in on each other, help each other, celebrate triumphs and mourn sadnesses. We are there for each other, even outside of the kink community, because our D/s and kinky friends are true friends.

This post is dedicated to I and S, RR and Z, the lovely women of Girls Club, B and C,  J and K, J and Z and all our ropey friends.

I didn’t get into the friends I’ve made online through my blog, another equally important group that has given me so much love and support. I think that topic deserves its own post!