Memories, Moments and Wanting More
I cried this Christmas. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I laughed, joyful tears that streaked my makeup and required a tissue. My little sister gave me the sweetest Christmas gift, a memory. She preserved this memory for both of us, having turned this small moment in time into a beautiful work of art. She included a hand written letter and her words are better than mine, so I am going to leave them here and share this memory with you all.
To my Big Sister-
My favorite memory of us:
I don’t know if you remember this but I do, and it is my favorite memory of us.
I couldn’t have been more than five or six, but you came into my room in the wee hours of the morning and woke me up:
“A! Shhhhh, let’s go get some popsicles and watch the sunrise!”
And, so we did.
I remember us sitting on the edge of the patio at the Chestnut Lane house, joyously enjoying our popsicles as the sun came up. Just you and me. It’s the first time I really remember us connecting after L was born. L and I shared a much closer childhood growing up, I hope you didn’t feel left out. But I do have cloudy memories of the two of us before she like, grew into a person.
Regardless, this moment, the two of us sharing an illegal treat (without Mom’s permission!) in the early morning felt like the beginning for me.
The beginning because ever since then, it’s like you stopped being my big sister and started being my Big Sister.
In the years following, you weren’t always around, and I don’t blame you at all! Because you were there for a much more important purpose:
You were there for the aftermath. Whenever I was scared or anxious or unsure about who I was or where I was going, you were there to soothe, calm and ease my fears.
I am a better and stronger person to have you in my corner and on my side.
So my gift to you this Christmas is us as we were and as we have always been:
Two kids in PJs, doing what we want and watching the sunrise.
Love always, A