I must admit, I’ve felt disconnected from the sex blogging community lately. It’s been a strange feeling, almost like a slow break up. The kind where you’ve been dating each other for a while and you really get along, but then life just seems to keep getting in the way and you slowly drift apart. I’ve always felt supported and drawn to this strange group of people linked by our common interest in sex or kink or non-monogamy or what ever might tickle us. Lately, things have seemed off, a little strained.
It started early this year before the world was struck by a debilitating pandemic, before my world was taken over by the dissolution of my once happy marriage. I thought that it was me, as is often the case when relationships begin to crumble. I thought I was distracted by travel and sickness and a husband who’d become a different person, but it wasn’t me. I didn’t realize that there were things moving along the sidelines, shadows in my peripheral vision, hostile ghosts shaking the peaceful and happy foundation we all stood upon.
I was so caught up in my own shit storm, I wasn’t reading other posts, I didn’t have any idea of what was going on until late May or early June. I didn’t know about the transphobic vein running through our seemingly open-minded community, causing a crack that eventually split everything wide open. This crack cannot be repaired, and for that I’m glad.
I don’t see the same people around anymore. Our group has gotten a little smaller, and some people that I truly used to admire have scuttled away to some other corner of the internet. Good riddance! I’d rather have a small group that is open to including all sorts of writers and creatives than have that same old group, poisoned with the seed of discrimination. I don’t miss the writings of the people I unfollowed. I don’t miss their photos. I don’t miss their point of view. And, I certainly don’t miss the negativity surrounding them and their beliefs, whether actual or perceived. Disconnecting has been a good thing.
I find that it’s important to stand up for what you believe in, especially when even the seemingly smallest action can mean so much to others. Flippantly pressing that little tiny like button may seem like a small gesture, but it can be the same as standing up on a soapbox and shouting out an opinion. If you like a post, you are making a stand, you are saying that you agree with the words written there. If you comment on a post, you’re able to make your stance clear, whether for or against. Following a social media page means you support that page and everything that is on it. You cannot simply support your “friends” because you like them or think that they are “good people”. Your actions, no matter how small or grand, tell the world who you are and what you believe. If you don’t like that, then I suggest you limit your social media use!
I’ve stepped back this summer, and I feel as though I should have stepped forward. I wrote one post for One Rainbow Apart, although I wanted to write more. Can I blame it on the storm swirling around my own life? Absolutely. Getting divorced, selling a house, and moving are physically and emotionally taxing. I barely had the energy to press the Unfollow Button on some of these accounts, let alone to delve into the challenge of writing more inclusive and diverse erotica. But, the challenge is there. The need is there. The feelings are there. The words are starting to pour in, and I hope to become a bigger and louder voice for my fellow LGBTQIA+ and non-binary peers out there.
Here is a list of all of the inclusive memes one can participate in, and I must thank Little Switch Bitch for making it so easy for me to find these memes!