Our world is upside down, it’s going to take a lot of hands to turn it right side up! -Leymah Gbowee
Everything is so unbalanced right now. It’s been that way for too long. With each passing second, people are fighting for one more tiny grain of sand to add to the scales in the hopes that things will level out. It’s just not happening fast enough.
It’s hard for me to write this post, because I know my own privilege. I am a white straight-presenting female. For the most part, I have everything I need and want in life and I always have. I don’t feel fear on a daily basis. I don’t feel ostracized or separated or put down. I can live my life free from the judgement of others. I have the undying support of my family and friends. It doesn’t matter who I love, who I sleep with, who I choose to live my life with, I will always be welcomed.
This is not the case for everyone in this world, and so, I strive to use my privileged voice to stand up for those that don’t have the same voice as I do. But, I feel it doesn’t mean enough, it doesn’t do enough.
I hate that I have this privilege. Not because it is any burden to me, but because I hate that the world isn’t fair. I am bisexual, but because I am married to a man that means that people see me differently than I actually am. It drives me insane that it even matters, that we live in a world where people who might actually be just like me are judged and treated differently because of how they present themselves to the world. I have never understood this type of thinking and I never will. Why does it matter? Who does it hurt? The answer is NO ONE. It doesn’t affect anyone, so why do people feel the need to even have an opinion, let alone cause another human pain and suffering because of their fucked up beliefs.
I’ve always been a bit of an idealist, wanting peace and love, seeing the world through rose colored glasses, but every day, a new crack forms in those glasses and the world becomes a little darker. I just wish people would be accepting of others, because it’s not that hard. It’s easier to love than it is to hate, but so many people struggle to do this. So many people not only can’t accept that, for example, trans women are women, and beyond that they find room in their heart to hate or harm perfect strangers for living their lives. The fact that our governments continue to ignore the rights of gay, trans, black, immigrant and native communities among others is atrocious.
The extremely unjust death of George Floyd has once again shined a spotlight on the inequality in the US, and things are finally starting to get shaken up again. But, similar to the #MeToo movement and the uprising that occurs after every mass shooting, how long will this progress last before it just gets shoved behind the next hot headline? It’s like we are caught in this rollercoaster of positive and negative movement, but we aren’t actually getting anywhere. We are still stuck in the seat, trapped by the straps of our societies unjust ideals and laws.
I feel stuck. I go out and vote in every election, local and national. I’ve marched, I’ve cried, I’ve written letters, I’ve donated money, but nothing seems to make a difference. I know change is slow, but god, this has been so slow! And, too many people are suffering while tiny grains of sand are slowly added to the scales. It makes me angry, and I’m not being hurt. I’m tired, and I don’t have to fight every single day just to be ME.
So, what can I do? I can use the preferred pronouns of my trans and non-binary friends because it’s really not that hard. I can stand up for someone who is being harassed because it’s what I believe is right. I can hold the door for strangers, no matter who they are or what they look like and offer them a smile because love is contagious. I can hold my female partners hand and kiss her cheek in public because I love her.
I can try to show others that it’s easier to love than it is to hate.